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It hurts

Updated: Sep 3


I wasn't ready to admit that. Because I have a life long history of turning hurt to anger. It's always been easier for me somehow, to feel anger rather than sadness.

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I am about to leave the so called Berlin yoga scene. After 10 years of teaching here. I am throwing myself into a new adventure, not really knowing where life will take me.

I feel like I am leaving right in time. It's breaking my heart that nearly every single Berlin yoga studio and teacher are completely dependent on a certain Platform capitalism fitness app. It's breaking my heart that so many people that proclaimed their love for my classes, don't want to attend them at the fair price I am charging.

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There was a wave of resistance, of rebellion, but it has washed ashore. Most studios and teachers threw in the towel after a few weeks of teaching to empty rooms. A few of us are still resisting, and our class sizes are small.

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I wasn't ready to admit it. But then another teacher, perhaps more in touch with her emotions than me, or just braver, said: It hurts. And it does. It hurts that yogis are choosing dirt cheap yoga over our classes.

It hurts to have a class size drop from 15-20 to 3-7 because I no longer accept Platform Capitalism app check-ins.

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All twenty years of practicing. Over thirteen of teaching. So many workshops attended. So many books read. All the time, love and effort that goes into planning a class. Into crafting a soundtrack. All of my accumulated experience. Not worth more than the price of a beer or a cup of coffee. It hurts.

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It seems like the battle is lost. That the efforts to raise awareness are in vain. It's all McYoga. A class treated like a service provided. Just getting my yoga in this week. A workout. Not a dedicated practice, a path to liberation. Not just for oneself, but for all living beings.

I am luckier than most teachers I know. I still have some yogis that are willing to pay a sustainable price for class.

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I know some teachers that still try to stand outside the fucked up platform capitalism system. I will be sending them lots of metta.

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© 2020 Victoria Larsson